The Safety of Internet Dating

A major concern many people face before moving into the world of online dating is safety. From free sites to paid sites, many website administrators are fighting a constant uphill battle against the paranoia of the average end user.

As a person who's experienced both painful and wonderful results from online dating, I can vouch for most of these sites when I say they err on the side of caution and do their best to keep you safe. Unfortunately, no amount of hand-holding will ever prevent injury, and as such, they maintain their lack of liability in their disclaimers.

Here are a few simple and commonsense tips to keep you from getting hurt:

1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. So you've found a guy with no kids, who doesn't do drugs, and who works out regularly, and he's fallen madly in love with you. As of now, he's raised no red flags, and he's offering you a chance to move in with him soon, without ever even meeting you in person. Wait a second. Unless you're Jessica Alba, I doubt you're going to get such an offer from a legitimate person. As such, go with what your gut tells you, which should probably be, "Back away -- quickly."
   
2. If she refuses to show more than one picture, it's probably fake. That's right; sometimes, people use fake pictures they found on Google images to fool people into lust, often to get something out of it, like money. If they won't show more than one picture (for whatever reason), or get defensive, or if their photos look just a bit too professional, or are at awkward angles where it's hard to view them, chances are, it's a fake. If they ask for money, you should know it's best to get out of this relationship, and fast.
   
3. If he claims to be Mr. Right after knowing you for two e-mails, it's not going to last. This could be a sign of any number of things, from a scam to insanity. Either way, if you've not yet met and he's asking you to marry him, you need to remove yourself from the situation.
4. Don't give out personal or identifying information. From an uncommon last name or social security number to a phone number or home address, anything which can be used to locate you is not safe to hand out over e-mail. Think about it: if you met a guy in a bar who wanted your home address after dancing with you a few times, would you hand it out? God no! I hope not, at least. If they ask for it, chances are you're in trouble, and you need to put an end to it immediately. Even a first name combined with an uncommon job title (especially with a company name) can be used to locate a person in a smaller town. If you live in Greenpond, Alabama, avoid telling him you own the tanning salon. If you live in New York City, you can probably get away with a little more, but it always pays to be cautious.
5. Don't meet them in private. Think about it this way: would you walk into some stranger's house off the street because he offered you an opportunity to watch a movie? Again, I hope not! Don't meet in private, don't meet in darkness, and try to keep people informed of where you're going and when you'll be coming home, so that if you're not able to be located, they'll know where to send the cops.
   
6. Don't come unprepared. My final tip isn't for safety, but, rather, to keep you from becoming insanely bored. When going to meet somebody at a restaurant for the first time, take along a book, a friend, or an mp3 player to keep you entertained while you wait. If they should decide to flake out and not show up, you'll be a lot happier with some kind of amusement than without.
   

While I haven't covered all the bases, they shouldn't be necessary. When meeting anybody for the first time, use extreme caution, and always be prepared for the worst case scenario. If something should happen, you have a lot better chance of surviving to tell the tale than if you were not.